Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Part 1: Solipsism

I wonder: what is the functional purpose behind keeping a blog? Is it narcissism? Solipsism? A desire for attention, a staking of undefined claims, or perhaps just digital graffiti?

Those who followed my blog while I was in Spain know that I wrote most consistently when going through one of the less-enjoyable times of my life. You all learned far more about my insecurities than you did about cathedrals and castles and the constant questioning of my sandals in winter. My blog came to mirror the Spanish buildings I walked past that still bore bulletholes and broken beams from their civil war, a confusing testament to already-aged injuries.

What was I holding on to? What was I memorializing and making permanent that was worth the effort? How terribly embarrassing!

All this to say: I confuse myself. Perhaps this all came to mind after seeing "Julie and Julia," and finding Amy Adams's self-centered blogging and fame-grubbing nothing short of insufferable. So naturally I am trying to sort it out on a public forum, in some odd confluence of meta and irony.

Maybe this will make more sense in Part 2: Solipsism and Stoicism. Maybe.