If any of you used to read my Xanga, you may remember my old habit of posting memories when surprised at the synapses firing in such a manner. Like the smell of my Bible reminding me of muggy summer days reading in front of my window, or a song reminding me of a girl singing it to me on the way to Little Rock, and so on.
Memory One: my Junior year of High School, my then-girlfriend was obsessed with any and all things Disney, and so I began to keep my ear to the ground for new Disney things that she might like. This included stooping to enter the Disney store at the mall, something I had previously sworn never to do. She mentioned a new DVD coming out with a "special edition" packaging of a movie she had never owned, but left it at that. I went to a few Targets and never found it until chancing upon it in a Circuit City. Taking it to the cash register, I was so happy to have found it that I forgot to be embarrassed until the cashier cocked his eyebrows and shot me a carefully supercilious look. I suddenly remembered the obligatory shame and explained, "it's for my girlfriend." But I felt a special pride at having a girlfriend to shop for and to talk about to strangers, and I unexpectedly wanted to go buy more feminine items so that I could have the same limited conversation with cashiers.
And she gave me quite a smooch when I surprised her with the DVD.
Memory Two: I was just reading the Gospel of Mark a few moments ago when I came across a passage of the Pharisees trying to trick Jesus. I could hear the exact words being spoken by the voice actors on the New Testament on CD that I borrowed from my then-girlfriend last February. I listened to a good fourth of the New Testament while driving to visit my Grandfather for the last time before he died, and I can see the exact stretch of highway on my side when I heard that passage from Mark. I spent half of the drive crying for my dying Grandfather and the other half crying for feeling alone, spending so many hours on the road without saying a word. When I returned I neglected to return the CDs to Meghan for quite some time, because I wanted them for reminding me of Grandaddy. In fact, I did not give them back until we broke up a month or so later. I don't even remember when that happened.
No significance here. Just a look into my cluttered mind.
6 months ago