First Round of Lasts.

There aren't good words to describe what is in my heart right now. I had been planning on writing a scathing trilogy of harsh commentary on religious things, but I have no right.

I went to a dinner theater in Little Rock tonight with my dear friend Bethany Cannon for Chi Kappa Rho's spring formal. We had a lovely time and enjoyed some wonderful company.

After, though, I realized that this is the second-to-last formal that I'll go to. This in and of itself is not so terrible, but I started thinking that it is about time for several lasts. I have little time left, and much to do.

As we drove, buildings took me to the first time I ever saw them on the way to a Broomball function in Freshman year. The river reminded me of walking the waterfront with Erin Archer and Brittany Hunt and a revolving door of other fun friends, and how we almost never stopped laughing when we were together. We took the road I drove several times the day that I found out my grandfather passed away. I remember deliberately trying to get lost, then later going to Office Depot to see if buying pens would make me feel better. We drove by the movie theater where I saw Napoleon Dynamite three years ago. I went twice and got lost both times. That movie theater has DDR, which I used to be good at.

But we also drove on pretty roads, ones that I had never seen before. Somehow they made me pray for more time. More time to explore and be free temporarily and then return to safe, safe Harding with the few responsibilities and even fewer expectations. Soon I will be expected to be a man. I wanted more time, just like how I wanted more time to be with the people I care about tonight. But when driving, it is a simple matter to just slow down, so I suddenly have more time to spend with them. With life, does it ever slow down?

I've got nerves, my friends.

Nerves.