Things Christians Do Wrong #1

Today is a good day, I think, for ranting. If you are close to me, there is a good chance that you have heard this before.

I hate Church Marquees.

Let me unpack that: in theory, they are great. They are a useful source of. . .lesson titles, and, um. . .times of worship I guess? But beyond that churches really make something disgusting out of them. And I'm not just talking about trotting out already-overworked tropes like "Seven days without prayer makes one weak." I mean mind-numbingly ignorant and/or stupid mini-sermons that are somehow still thick with guilt trips and condescension, packaged and placed in our front yard.

Right now our church hosts this message: "Be your childrens' soul support." Fairly innocuous as far as marquees go, yes? Not long ago, though, we showcased this gem: "Hungry? We serve spiritual food." And, again, this is not too bad compared to some I've seen. A church in town offers: "Hot? Our church is prayer-conditioned."

. . .prayer-conditioned? What does that even mean? Have the congregants been subject to experiments leaving them with acquired behavioral patterns based in prayer? Like Pavlov's dog, except spouting spiritual drivel instead?

I was once infuriated in Arkansas in late Summer that read, "Think it's hot here?" I actually stopped my car and considered rearranging the letters, but there were not enough P's and O's to do it justice.

It seems that we, as Christians, are more than happy to move our evangelism and Good News-sharing into venues that are totally inappropriate for Kingdom Work. Our message is watered down and oversimplified in order to become cutesy and catchy. The attention that Jesus earned for his shocking spectacle of authoritative teaching and humble service, we try to earn by flashy gimmicks. And we let signs preach what WE were commissioned to share.

Let's just freaking talk to people. Let's just freaking love.

Signs can't love.