I don't know how to explain the feeling in my gut right now.
Restless, for one. I am ready to graduate and start living. But there is so much to do before then, and so much to leave behind. Am I anxious to leave? To run from memories and mistakes and reminders of wasted time/potential? To not have to watch enviously while all of my friends get married and live?
I have nearly spent four years here in Arkansas! What have I been doing with my life? How have I progressed? I feel stunted.
Nervous, too. I don't really know what I'll be doing. I am afraid to apply for the internship in Spain, for fear that either I will get it or that I won't. I can't decide which is more terrifying.
Mediocre, still. I just tried to write how I feel on my guitar, and apparently how I feel is sloppy and amelodic. I just tried to put photographs on my "flickr" thing that mean something, but they are all bland and uninspired.
All of this adds up to something to the effect of: "I don't want to leave my room."
Enough complaining. I am ending this.
4 years ago
5 comments:
Well.
Lucas, you make me feel like someone special, especially when i don't feel special. *laughs*
God is using your life, even if you don't always feel like he is.
Apply for that internship, friend. If you have room in your suitcase, bring me along! If you don't make it in, then we here in the states will be thrilled to be able to keep you.
I wish you luck in your life ahead, wherever it may lead.
We miss you here in Colorado!
if you don't apply to that internship i won't be your friend anymore because
1) you certainly won't get in if you don't apply, whether you wanted to or not
2) if you apply and are accepted, you can always not go if you choose not to
I can kinda relate to this post, Lucas. I'm not graduating, but I too wonder what I've done w/ my time here... and what I'm going to do once I leave. But know that you have impacted my life by coming into it and I wish you all the best in whatever you choose to do - whether that is Spain or not. And I say "go for it"... Shelby's right, you can always turn it down if you want. I miss you. We need to hang out. Soon. For real. Take care my friend!
how about I fix pad thai for you, mary, and kaitlyn sometime. i would like that much better than a box of that microwaveable stuff.
ruts are gross. i get that way everytime I know i'm about to leave, which has been way too many times to even count.
chin up, friend. and heck yes apply for those internships! Taking risks makes things happen. And if God doesn't grant them to you, then you know where he wants you to be. Sometimes, though, God makes us chose which risk to take and then he blesses the one we chose. Think about that carefully...sometimes there are not wrong choices, just lovely learning experiences (sarcastic giggle inserted here).
i hate it when i read a comment i just left on someone's post and discover a spelling error...if there's one thing about me you should know, its my complete lack of spelling comprehension.
Post a Comment